The Maybe Sides

every night is different
      because you don't know how much of you will be there
         and how much of you will already be out the door

and every murmur stirring in you frightens
      because you don't know which voice to acknowledge
         and which voice to finally hear no more

and you want to be other versions of yourself
      ones that don't feel
            that can't feel


and you want to be strong enough to fight the you that overpowers
      that feeds off trepidation
         cowering in the shadow of anything real 

            but you don't know how to be

                the answers you want

                  you wish they saw differently

                      the eyes reflected in your heart



                           some things are easiest to feel alone
                                   or to never feel at all
                    so you blink away the rain
and allow another story to start