I found that once I accepted I could no longer trust the people I once trusted implicitly I was left with an eerie calm.
I think when you try and fight something, when you want to change someone or something, it's exhausting. You'll pull your hair out and grow weary and every effort you make in either direction affects nothing, changes nothing.
So I've accepted defeat.
I don't want to change them.
I accept them as is and all they are not, all they will never be.
And they will read this and sneer and declare I've no talent for words and I'll just shrug my shoulders and say Ok, you win.
But I don't write for accolades, I don't love for reciprocity, I don't act for you, I live for me.
And I'm done letting any of them in anymore.
I'll never be enough, I'll never be the missing link.
Not in their eyes anyway.
Their eyes are hard, transfixed on past horrors and incapable of melting away the iciness that's slowly blinded them.
But I won't care.
Your disease is not in these genes.
I will not be poisoned by your bitterness.
I will not doubt because of your hesitancy.
You haven't won.
You're together, alone.
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