Love and Hate letters

I save everything.
I mean, I'm a total pack rat.
When I moved last year I found love letters from guys I dated five and ten years ago.

I'm kind of ridiculous.

Nowadays people don't write letters anymore.

But they do send emails.
And texts.
And I save all those too.

I save everything.

Sometimes I think it's good to have people's words held hostage.
People often times reveal their hand without meaning to.
And it can be good to look back in reflection of a time and realize, I wasn't crazy.  They did say those things.  They were double minded scoundrels.

And I have the proof.

I'm working on this book that's retracing my steps from last year.  It's kind of surreal recalling it all and privately as I type away on this little laptop, I'm reliving it.

But it's easier this time around because I know how the story ends.  I know who never writes back.  I know who does come around.  I know I survive it all and can laugh at myself in my sarcastic memoir.

Some people think you should forget the past and live in the now which is definitely important in making sure you don't get stuck somewhere that no longer exists.

But I think it's also good sometimes to take another look to really see what all was back there.

Things are rarely what they appear to be.

And sometimes even if they are, you can at least understand why they were so very grey.