But I want what I want

I don't always know what's best for me.
I know I think I do.
I have more opinions about more things than most people probably consider their whole life.
I know what I think about yesterday and what you did yesterday and what shoulda happened yesterday.
But I'm finally coming to the humble conclusion that as much as I think about all that I'm thinkin' about I don't know that I know much about what I think I do.

I've an astonishing capacity to fool myself.
It's a gift.
A very Resa thing to do.

I don't think I'm one of those robots who merely want what they can't have.
I simply want what I think I know I should get.
Gimme gimme.
And make it extra sparkly and debonair.
And carrying roses.
As a start.

The problem is that I so often seem to have just about everything figured out I rarely take into consideration someone else's adaptability.
I'm convinced I could talk a rock into turning into a butterfly based solely on my powers of persuassion.
So when the rock sits there and flips me the bird instead, my propensity to be dumbfounded is laughable.

What. Do. You. Mean. You're. Not. Gonna. Become. What. I. Believe. Can. Be. True??
Do you know who you're talking to??

Free will, Reese.
Every schmuck has their own free will and if they don't want what you want then they can be as stubborn an ox as they like.
And they will never turn into a butterfly.
Assholes.

My revelation was how this can continue to surprise me again and again and again no matter how many times I'm convinced I'm the Princess of Rightness.
People still refuse to kiss my royal slippers.
Or my royal lips, depending on the circumstance.

But people should not surprise me!
It's the same scratchy record looping again, the same dashed hopes, the same misconstrued identities.

But this just in--
       it is actually possible to love without feeling that loves reciprocity.


Contrary to popular belief what you choose to do doesn't have to be influenced by what others choose to do.
And thank God for that.

Because eventually, some schmuck is gonna realize this princess is pretty damn clever.
And her visions are worth coming to fruition.

But I guess that's just my oh so humble opinion.
You're free to do with it what you will.