Gracie

Once upon a time there was a girl. 
She was always looking for something. 
She'd lost it so long ago she'd forgotten what it looked like.
But she knew it was missing. 
And she wanted it back. 
She was persistent, sometimes forcefully so. 
She embodied drama. 
She knew how to make things happen.
But she didn't know how to make them stay.
And that always left her rattled.

She spent a lot of time alone. 
She'd discovered it was easier to search alone. 
People distracted, they took and they deceived. 
They poisoned truth with their seductive lies.
And she always believed them.
She couldn't lie and she couldn't distrust. 
Her heart wouldn't allow it. 
She always believed.

One day she was driving, it was raining. 
And her lonliness was palpable.
And she felt ashamed.
She wasn't lonely because of them. 
She was lonely because of her own heart.
And it made her cry.
She was running in circles and she was tired.
She hit every stop light red.
And so she just sat there.
And waited.
She missed Him and didn't understand how He'd become so far away. 
But she guessed that was why she never got what she wanted. 
She kept catching glimpses of all that could be but never was. 
Being wrong all the time was draining. 
She no longer trusted her heart.
And that frightened her.
What could she trust if she couldn't trust what was inside her?

So she walked back to her huddled corners, her safety and she remembered. 
She remembered believing.
She remembered all the things she'd done that had put fear in her gut
But she'd done them anyway. 
And she remembered the mountains that had leapt into the sea
And the words that had found love sifting through all the ashes from the mountains
And the medicine that had healed hope
And the heartless that had been moved to compassion
And she was very thankful for second chances.
For 2,538 chances.
Because she knew she would need them.
And she wished more than anything that for tonight He could have skin on.
Just tonight. 
Because all she wanted was a hug. 
Just to know it would be ok, to feel it.
But she believed.
And as she tasted the salt once again
She remembered.
She remembered what she forgot,
She remembered what she was looking for.
And she would find it.

She had to.