It's Ok

Breathe.
Take a deep breath.

Now get out of your head, for just a minute.
It may not be as safe a place as you imagine.

Sometimes we let thoughts consume us.
Sometimes the culprit is reason or logic or rationale.
Sometimes it's love; irrational, inconvenient, can't live without it love.

I've always sort of had this philosophy that if I wanted something I would wait and think on it.  And if I still felt the same way after a time then it must be significant enough for me to have it.  Because there are those things that are fleeting, those desires and impulses that leave as quickly as they started.
And sometimes, in those rare instances, they linger.

Confusion is not something that Providence created to consume us.
Confusion buries the truth from surfacing because it argues every angle, it counters any argument, it rationally rationalizes the most irrational rationale.
It is not your friend, confusion is the antithesis of peace.
It doesn't deserve your worship.

Whatever is noble, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is lovely and admirable, think on such things.  All else is mere distraction.

Step out of the shell you're hiding in.
There is someone waiting to see the moon in there.

Don't be another guy, be a MAN.
Be so consumed with passion that you must have me.
Or be so overwhelmingly good that your altruism outpours and inspires awe in those around you.
But don't just be someone who can't have me and won't let me go because then you're just like him.  Then you're just another guy and you sacrifice your crown on the altar of PC's everywhere, phonies and fakes who fell short and once again a disillusioned princess stands holding onto the remains.

I am further gone than you realize, dear one.
Not only out of the rabbit hole but out of sight from the rabbit hole.
A great big hop, skip and bunny jump away.

So can't you see?  If I, being female, being the emotional, irrelevant, irrational one am more than fine...what island are you alone on?
Can it be that what you so quickly dismissed has shed light on things greater than even you?
Is it possible your gut quivers once again beyond your control?
And over something so elusive, over such fantasy?
I thought everything was just fine, that things were really great.
Darling, why am I the one you speak to with such uncandid honesty?
Shouldn't you be directing such overtures elsewhere?
Are you so afraid of letting me go entirely because then you will be left alone with your choice and the weight of that reality has finally sunk in?
I told you long ago I am no sexy little side dish.  Nor am I the aphrodisiac.
This foxy lady wants so much more.
And for the first time in possibly the history of time I am done settling for less than everything.
I want the moon.
I want the golden ball.
I want to be followed to the ends of the pyramids just so they can look into these eyes.
Love endures all things.
It does not block and unblock and end and unend.
It is not Mr. Indecisive's cousin.
It just IS.
Like all I believed you to be.
Real  Genuine Raw Vulnerable Honest
Why are you choking on a love that releases?
Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you
it will set you free.
Be more like the man you were made to be.

Let go.

Trying to hold onto everything will make you drown.  It's way too much for one man's arms.
You already told your words what to do.  Why are your actions lagging behind?
Do they know something your words are masking?
You may do well to set out ALONE for a few days.  Away from all that would smother the fire within your soul.  Perhaps some time alone, sans phone, sans computer, sans anyone would shed light on the lies bouncing around inside of you.  Such conflicting things cannot be truth.  There are grey areas and then there are just muddled areas.  You're like the paint when it all runs together and creates one muted reddish tan, vague, undefined.
Stop lying to yourself and uttering the mantra Everything's fine, we're all fine, it's gonna be fine.
Nothing is fine.
This is a flippin volcano you're dancing on and it's stagnance ain't gonna last for much longer.
What is really going on here?
What's behind that reflection in the mirror, what's inside that man desperately trying to break free from his glass cage?
Prisons are often self inflicted, my dear little masochist.
Ignorance is only bliss if you're actually ignorant and you're far too savvy to pretend to be such an idiot.

Get out
Go away
Make a break for it
And take no one with you

I swear,
I know you will come back with the actual truth
The entire naked ugly truth
The one you've been ignoring for years
He is waiting for you, darling.
He has the answers.
It's not me.
I love in spite of you.
I love PC, and all his flaws.
But I know who I am.
Don't you want to know too?