I luff you, with two f's

I like you.  Do you like me?
Or should I start liking someone else?
--Me, A la fourth grade



There's a guy at my new Starbucks who has a crush on me.  It's very sweet actually.  He's about as subtle as the Miraculous bra from Victoria's Secret (that's like the equivalent of what a train wreck does for the eyes; the Miraculous adds two cup sizes.  Helloooo second date!)

This guy is such an eager beaver I can see the saliva form at the corners of his mouth when he's around me.  His eyes light up and he finds any excuse to touch me or get me to look in his direction.
Of course, as luck would have it, I'm not interested at all.  Isn't that the way the Starbucks cookie crumbles?  But what fun would it be if I met a guy who was as crazy for me as I was for him?  We've already written that chapter, on to more amusing things.

The best part about this new Romeo is that his name is Jared.  Yes, Jared, which happens to be the name of the nemesis I left behind at my last store.  One Jerad abhors me, another Jared adores me.  Perhaps the inverse of letters affects their affection.

Hey, anything is possible.

But this new Jared was good for me.  I think all women need a Jared in their life.  A sweet, harmless, doting, everything you do is amazing to them kind of guy to remind yourself, Aw, so THIS is what interest looks like.  It does not play mind games with you.  It does not say one thing but do another.  It doesn't grow overwhelmed by its devotion to you.  It just dotes.  Passionately, genuinely, with all sincerity, dotes.  And even though I couldn't return the sentiment it painted my cheeks crimson in all feminine bashfulness.

Mama always said the best way to get over a lost cat was to get a new cat.  And I couldn't seem to find one, which I knew was part of my whole growing-maturing-character building-strength enduring testy-majig.  Good ol' Big G, doesn't give us more than we can handle but comes pretty damn close.  I wasn't at a breaking point but I certainly contemplated bawling or stabbing something more often than I ought.  But I blamed the water retension in my brain.  And as the days ticked by, the swelling was going down.  And so was my insanity level. 

At least that's what I kept telling myself.

So, ok, I thought, I don't get a new kitty, at least not anytime soon.  But, I do get a very attentive puppy dog.  It really is a shame I have zero fondness for dogs.  But that's life, right?  You want what you can't have and by the time you get it your desire has waned and you've moved onto something else.  That's why life is one big tragi-comedy.  And it always made me laugh.  And as this year had already proven time and time again, there were more plot twists than there were curls on my head.

And that, that I did love.
With all that I had.