I don't get it....

Today was a day for situations that left my internal monologue furrowing its brows and moaning huh?

At work, I'll admit, I was distracted.  I have recently been captivated by a new lover (relax, Mother, I don't mean an actual person) and that lover is Diva Den Studio.  This dance/fitness studio has endless classes every day and I am in L-O-V-E.  I spent years of my life dancing as a kid and I don't know how I forgot how much I loved it but I do.  And I am good.  Damn good.  (Told you--Most.  Humble.  High School.  Yearbook.  Look it up).  And I'm sure my ability is directly proportionate to my love of it.  No one can accuse me of having a love affair with playing guitar because I held it once, tried to strum a few chords and reached a new Barbie octave in my register when I discovered just how painful strumming chords actually is.  (How do all those sexy lead singers in bands make it look so effortless?  This is why I love them so).

But this fabulous new world of non stop booty shakin' has recently put out a promotional coupon and it is crawling with new eager bitches.  I'm stoked the place is getting all this publicity but when I left a class this morning and found out I was on a waiting list for a class later that night I had to stifle my urge to scoff.  Pffft.  Do they know who I am?  Wait list?  I think not, my pretty blonde receptionist.  So, eager to not be placed on the unfortunate sorry-no-calorie-burning-for-you list I logged online at work during my break and registered for every class I wanted to take through mid February.  And that may or may not have made my ten minute break more like twenty minutes.  And I may or may not have spent another ten or fifteen minutes writing all the classes I'd been officially registered for in my planner.  For the next four weeks.  But I had already finished all my pre close tasks which was really the reason I was there.  And the kid who commented on me slacking off is like, THE official slacker spokesman for Starbucks.  (Really, I think he's like, the Facebook Starbucks Slackers President).  He's one of my favorite co workers and I love him to death.  But I didn't understand why he suddenly gave a damn if I wrote in my planner instead of found stuff to do.  We always stand around and bullshit once we get our important stuff done. 

So my fellow slacker giving me the stink eye was my first Say Whaaaat? moment of the day.

My other question mark landed in dance tonight when in between two back to back classes I walked to my bag to change shoes and when I returned to the same general area of the dance floor a girl practically knocked me over to stand in front of me to make sure she was UP FRONT.  And she wasn't the only one.  There were several girls who quickly took their front and center stances and two girls to my right even mumbled, Hey, how did that happen?  when they realized they'd been side stepped and knocked out of their front line positions. 

Say Whaaaat?  moment number two: Why are chicks getting competitive over a fitness class?  Was it the same reason girls HAD to sing first soprano in college because "pretty" girls sing the high notes and "pretty" girls dance in front during Cardio Strip Tease?

The best moment though?  The bitch who nearly knocked me down to get in front?  She SQUIRMED at the end of class when the teacher said she wanted to videotape us.  She turned around and said she didn't want to be in front because she "kept screwing it up." I smiled a smile that she didn't realize was maniacal.  Do you want me to be in front?  I asked politely.  Yes, she nodded eagerly.  And I stepped in line with all the other "pretty" girls.

And this pretty girl?  Shook the socks off of all those other bitches.  Even the one in thigh highs with the perfect little figure.  Some girls rock it no matter what row they dance in. 

I just got to be front and center this time to show the wannabes just how it's done.