"Don't talk to her. She goes after every guy she's friends with."
Aha.
So this is why I have no male friends.
Their egos pervert my affection into something more than I ever meant it to be.
Nice.
AWESOME.
Sooo...if I start acting like an icy, indifferent bitch to men do you think they'll still find me overly flirtatious?
"She's just playing hard to get."
"She thinks she's better than everyone else."
"Did you see the way she looked at me? She totally wants me."
I guess people can twist anything into something else.
They're just that wicked talented.
Somehow though I'm not impressed.
If I do "go after" all the men in my life as this insecure child is telling people I do then what does that say for the men who apparently can't resist my overtures? Are you all so terribly weak and pathetic? Are you truly that incapable of thinking for yourself and making your own big boy decisions?
Awe, poor baby.
Shall I get your mommy for you?
Or maybe just your sippy cup?
Give me a break. One thing is clear. Sexism is still as prevalent today as it was when we didn't have the vote. At least back then there were certain things men knew were unacceptable in the eyes of society. Today anything goes. Oh but when the scandals of said anything are brought to light they're always the fault of the "devilish woman."
The women are always Delilah's and the men are always lion slaying Samson's.
With hearts of freakin' gold.
Clearly a man would only stray because of one special woman.
He would never fall for a woman merely because she's female.
Nooooo.
Only those cunning, crafty, conniving temptresses can get men to do naughty things.
They never have impure thoughts on their own.
Stupid Eve.
Adam would have done just fine if it weren't for you.
You know what else I love?
Since we're on the subject....
I love it when men work the "Well, me and my GIRLFRIEND" statement into a conversation as if to put a big block on my friendly overtures. Their subtlety in emphasizing their significant other is about as subtle as my disdain over their unwarranted hubris.
Hey buddy! I work at STAR-BUCKS. I get paid to feign interest in your daily life. Do you think I really give a damn how work is going for you or what your weekend plans are? I could be anywhere else doing anything else, making art, making love, making a difference in the lives of people I genuinely care for. But no, I gotta work just like you, and that work is called CUSTOMER SERVICE. So how about you get over yourself for one solid minute. This little coffee girl is really not interested in seeing your slick bedroom moves. Why don't you just take your crayons and go practice your lower case letters.
What's great about our modern technological day and age is that deleting someone from my life is more thorough, more all encompassing and fool proof than it has ever been for any generation prior. Before our media obsessed culture I'd have to continue seeing acquaintances at social gatherings, parties, events. If someone pissed me off I couldn't delete them from The 400 or have them spend spring break at another summer spot. Oh but now? NOW I can change my phone number so they can never call or text me. I can block their emails so I never receive another for the entirety of Yahoo. I can block them from Facebook so they can never read one of my witty status updates. And I can trust God, that if He wants to keep me in a protected bubble like He has from the evil incarnate that is Narcissus He will certainly protect me from the lot of THEM.
Hallelujah.
Kyrie Eleison.
Winky face.
Heart.
Matthew 5:44.
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