"Christmas is for kids," someone told me and I agreed with them because it seemed the right thing to do. There are times when stating an opinion seems relevant and times when just nodding your head in agreement seems to take presidence.
Once I told a co worker that I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to get married and especially didn't know if I wanted to have kids. She squinted her eyes at me and with all sincerity asked, "Then what's the point?"
Hmm. It makes you wonder.
If holidays are not for adults but for children, if my sole life purpose is to bear children and I don't then according to our society I am...what?
Without?
Without what exactly?
Jesus said we are to become like children. WE are meaning who we are right now as boring blase insignificant adults because there is a child in all of us, a spirit in each of us desiring to be seen, to be valued and appreciated.
I'm so tired of feeling like the only purpose anyone thinks I should have is to get married and have kids. I'm so damn stubborn that I feel like if God ever put that desire on my heart I'd fight it just in spite of everyone. I know those people who are married because they had nothing better to do and had kids because it seemed the time to have them and maybe some of them are genuinely happy or maybe they're wondering why they let their life become something they thought it should be rather than allow the unpredictable peculiarities of life to shape theirs into something only suited for them.
The people of remembrance we read biographies about, inventors and scientists, artists with their radical ideas, the doctor who was dubbed a looney for suggesting they wash their hands in between patients so as not to infect another patient, they all went against the accepted protocol, the monotony of daily life, the drones of people who were convincing one another theirs was the way things were to be.
Why is Christmas a holiday for children? Isn't it the celebration of the birth of Jesus? Was He not born for me as much as He was born for a 5 year old? Why do so many adults stop giving gifts as adults? Is it important to teach a child to find value in stuff and learn that love wraps itself in brightly colored paper and multiple toys but once you're old enough to buy your own toys don't expect anyone else to buy them for you? You want to feel loved as an adult, go buy it yourself. Because now shopping for you is a burden. Only kids bring joy. Adults bring headaches.
And then we wonder why we're all so isolated and lonely and unhappy and taking four different medications just to keep from killing our neighbor.
Don't adults need love, attention, affection, more than children?
Don't kids begin crying and cease sobbing just as quickly as they began because something sparkly caught their eye? Isn't it the grownups who huddle in corners alone, late at night wondering why, feeling without, feeling alone?
It makes me sad to think I'm part of a culture that only celebrates certain life traditions. If I never marry, never have kids I might as well move to a tropical island away from pitying eyes who wonder what my point is.
My point?
How about this for a point.
To live my life loving God, learning to put Him first, learning to love and accept myself in spite of who I am and refusing to give up on everyone else, determined to overcome evil with good.
No matter what any of you has to say about that.
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