Any number of endings

You know those novels you read as kids where you could choose your own ending?
 You could choose either A, B or C and then go to that corresponding chapter? 
Of course, if you were like me then you probably cheated and read all three chapters first to decide which ending you liked best.
I've never been one to just sit back and accept what's handed me.

My life, for the past two years, keeps circling back to the same moment, the same year, the same month even, as if the Cosmic Bitch that is Fate is flaunting her delicious uncertainty in my face just to show me all the things I missed. 
Then and now.

The year is 2005.  It's a pretty monumental year for several reasons.  It's the year I graduate college.  The year I stop working at Starbucks.  (Before I go back again.  And again.  And then again.  And still, again.  And yes, again.  Juries still out if they'll be a sequel).  It's the year I start working at Nordstrom.  And it's the year I date a lot of men.  A LOT.  Like, I'm fairly certain I date more in that one year than I did my entire college career.
Like I said, I've never been one to just sit back and accept what's handed me.

So how has the Cosmic Bitch been messing with my mind?

First of all, one of the guys I dated in '05 found me on Facebook four years later and then became my short lived though drama filled boyfriend for the following year.

Second, one of the guys I worked with in '05 managed me again four years later and became the scandalous rendevous I distracted myself with after the short lived drama filled boyfriend became my ex.

Third, the job I was so thankful to have to get me out of coffee land I quit the following year.  My next job at Macy's I met a girl who hired me five years later in the same department at the same Nordstrom I'd quit right before I started working with my unknown future boss.

Fourth and finally, another guy I dated in '05, the same month I met the kid I'd date the next couple years and the kid I'd date four years later, found me online and is taking me out next week.

To say life follows no circular cosmic pattern is to amuse Fate with a wave of great laughter.

I can't help but wonder how different my story would be if I'd chosen Bachelor Number two initially instead of Bachelor Number One or if I'd kept my initial job instead of waiting six years to return to it or if I'd never gone back to Starbucks again and again and, well, you get the picture, if my scandalous work tryst ever would have occurred and all the while knowing full well, no matter which ending I chose, Fate always holds a surprising twist up her sleeve.

Perhaps I could have dated any one of those men and it never mattered what sequence because somehow all of our paths were to again cross in the future.  Perhaps I could have remained at the one job instead of inconsistently hopping from one to the next.

But perhaps no matter which door I foolishly close, what needs revealing finds a way to be seen. 
What needs connection finds a way to be felt. 
What ties seem lost will one day show up unexpectedly and Fate smiles at her own cleverness, revealing all that always was, that always is, that finds its way, even when we never see all that was and is before us.