The Damn Sunshine

I am not a morning person.
AVID. ANTI. MORNING. PERSON.
I'm so fervently opposed to the concept that people wake up genuinely bright eyed and bushy tailed that I am convinced there's a conspiracy.
Those who claim they are morning people --And I've seen it, you know who you are!!--are LIARS.
Big. Hairy. Liars.

Yes.
I just called you HAIRY.

I used to live with someone who was a leader of this conspiracy and he tried for weeks to converse with me first thing in the morning. 
Then one day it finally sunk in that the only syllables I could articulate before I'd had my shower and cup of coffee were grunts.

I tried working out early in the morning once.
I nearly threw up and fainted at the same time.

I think vixens were made for night fall.
Sparkle and seduction hours happen in the dark.

It makes me wonder how I survived Starbucks for all those years.
Acting, dahling.
Mad. Award winning. Acting.

At least God gave me those skills.

My new pseudo, Richie, is an early bird.
A "morning person" if you will. 
A conspirator if ever there was one.
The sun rises and his on switch clicks in to gear and he is ready to jump out of bed and make the most of his day.
The chipper bastard. 
He makes me ill.

But he thinks I'm a crazy bird for sleeping the day away and making love to the late hours of the night.
Tomato.  Tomah-to.
I'm rad and he's nuts.
I'm completely okay with that.
Obviously he is too.

But today I had to get up with the damn sunshine for a damn work meeting about all of our damn events--Damnit!!--and Richie mockingly told me to enjoy my day of sleep.

What.Ev.ER. You don't KNOW me, I jeered.  Maybe I'm gonna stay up!
Ha. Yeah. Right, Richie sneered back.

Psssh.  That did it.
I will now stay up all damn day just to prove him wrong.
Chipper know it all bastard.

I may never be a morning person--BECAUSE THEY AREN'T REAL!!-- but I sure am determined.
And if anyone is up to the task, it's this gal.
Stubborn.  Loud.  Night time worshipping dame.

I'm just that fucking fantastic.