False.

She was giving you the nastiest look.  When you were bent down looking for it, she was standing there watching you giving you this really awful glare.

I don't like things that are fake.

I don't like fake designer handbags.
I don't like fake butter.
I don't like fake devotion, fake affection, fake orgasms or fake friends.
Fakeness is like orange to me.

I fucking hate the color orange.

Are you serious? I asked my friend after he told me of the spiteful looks cast in my direction. 
Yep, he said, ready to do battle with me.
I'm going back now to get the one I need.
I'm going with you, he said, giddy as a school girl.

As expected, the Ogress spouted some venom my way as I regretfully had to cross paths with her.
What's your problem? I posed, calmly.
I wasn't talking to YOU, the acrid words flung my way.
Oh, ok then, barracuda.
And I gathered my desired items and walked away.

My pixie trailing beside me, excited by such confrontation, mused over what had just happened.
What crawled up her koolats! he exclaimed.
I don't know, I replied.  I think she's just one of those people who doesn't enjoy life.
He laughed.

And I thought it over.

Every work place has one of these. 
-Some, several.  Bless their wretched hearts.- 
Women who are moodier than a prepubescent teen on her first month of birth control.

I'm sorry but men never behave so passive aggressively as women.  Men who are assholes?  Are just assholes.  Women who are bitches?  Are one way one day and then moody, chaotic vipers the next.  At least with men we know what we're getting.  Love you, you lovable douchebags, but you surprise me not with your disappointments.  Chicks however are supposed to know better.

But these women, ALL of these women, possess one commonality: they are miserable, joyless creatures.  Do you know how sad a person has to be to behave so wretchedly?  No sane, contented, somewhat happy person possesses the energy to cast such hatred towards people they care little for.  Hatred is a whole other frequency of energy to that of joy.  You have to take your insides, churn them around, tighten all your muscles to the point of contortion until finally you can slip from smiles to rage.  It's overwhelmingly exhausting.  And only those already in such a state are able to unleash venom with so great an ease.

And these women also use their Bitch Bravado to mask how incredibly insecure they are.  If they're mean to the pretty girls than the pretty girls won't take notice of their intense imperfections and instead of poking fun at them they will fear them.  And feeling feared makes the insecure feel powerful.  And feeling intimidating and threatening sure beats feeling undesirable and unlovely, doesn't it?  Poor, unhappy, unattractive bullies.

Oh, but I don't feel sorry for you.
I call you on your bullshit.

Every single bitch of a bully I've encountered, I've confronted.  True, when I was younger, and less confident in my brazen forwardness, it would take me time to work up the courage to tell my nemesis, You don't have to talk to me that way.  But less out of cowardice and more out of a desire to embody the quiet, agreeable womanly nature I saw so beautifully illustrated in my Mother. 
I admire her greatly but I will never be a quiet, agreeable woman.

God made me this bold. 
He musta had some idea what He was in for.

It amuses me how surprised bullies are when you call them out on their harshness.  Most people agree to fear them and so they trudge through life, their little hate cloud hovering above them, carting few friends along the way and even fewer folks they sincerely trust.  But when some rare Spitfire, like myself, stands up to their Goliath with nothing but a nimble mouth, they always, ever always, lose their footing, stumble and turn away mumbling.

I've yet to meet a bully who doesn't back down when confronted.

I love out bitching the biggest bitches.

Because I am not a fake person.
And if you piss me off?
I have the guts to tell you to your face.
Not cast withering glances at your back side.

So mix that with your bitter pudding and choke on it.