I've been punk'd by the Almighty

I found an old journal.

I say "journal" and yet it seems I made but one entry and then failed to see its merit after that. 
It remained buried in my nightstand amidst books and pens and other.....novelties.
Ahem.

Curiosity stirred, I opened the notebook and read over the journal entry.
Dated my birth month of last year, a portion read as follows,

A week ago I was feeling sad about Prince Charming and Mr. Volcano and asked God to bring a man into my life I could trust.  The next night, to my utter surprise (to which I literally exclaimed, "Holy shit!" when I saw the missed call) Mr. Volcano called me.  It had been five months.  Our conversation was awkward but cordial.  Trust between us will take time.

Upon reading the entry I promptly dropped it on my lap unable to hold it upright as my laughter nearly knocked me over with its sheer force.
It seems memory had granted me the gift of forgetting such absurdity.

Dear reader, allow me to bring you up to speed. 
Mr. Volcano, though for a short time duped me and my small community of friends into believing him the seemingly mild mannered, even tempered, gentle spirit he feigned, is in fact one of the most erratic, double minded, inconsistent childish men that ever embodied a 6'4" frame.  This man, who declared We can have nothing more to do with each other ever again months prior to this phone call, who invited me and uninvited me to more events than I care to recall, who sought the man he learned I had fallen for after him to meet for drinks-a vain effort to what?  Extract secrecies?  And bond over musings at my expense??-this B.O.Y. deemed me worthy of a phone call for some unknown, ill timed reason and it Just. So. Happened to be the night after I prayed a most sad hearted prayer.

Foolishly I deemed Providence had quickly answered my prayer and my phone had rung, as if from Heaven, to encourage my hopes, lift my spirits and affirm the truth I'd held so firm, that my faith in Mr. Volcano had not been unwarranted and our friendship, at last, should be reunited!

:Trumpets Blare: Angels Sing: Chilren Dance: Our hearts Take Wing:

Reality-

I have heard not a word from him since.

And what I HAVE heard is most unflattering, undesirable, and NOT in my favor.  It seems the young Man Child speaks to everyone on the subject of me, sans moi.  I am so terribly important to still be a topic on his lips but so terribly offensive as to be shunned from his communication.

And here I'd dubbed him The Answer To My Prayers.

It seems I was punked by the Almighty.

Good one, Big G.
You really had me going.
Props for creativity, theatrics and the element of surprise.

But seriously.....what the hell was I thinking?

I shook my head in amused disgust, You have GOT to be kidding me.