a smack in the face

I am worse than a fool
for a fool knows not of his follies.
I, however, am well aware.
And take each misguided leap of faith anyway.

Silly little girl.
You don't matter to him.

Everyone told me what would happen.
E.v.e.r.y.o.n.e.
It must be quite a boring existence knowing that your every move has already been calculated and predicted with perfect accuracy.
And by complete strangers.

He will never come through.
He will never be there for you.
You will be disappointed if you expect anything from him.

No one saw the good that I saw.
N.O. O.N.E.
But I was determined to believe with all severity of hope that the glimmers of light I saw were an indication of the overwhelming warmth just below the surface.

See the thing I never realized?
The light I saw was merely a reflection of my own eyes.
There never was any light sitting before me.
Only emptiness.
Cold. Methodical. Self serving indifference.

People fear hate but I much prefer it.
I'll take vapid disdain over lukewarm indifference any day.
At least if they hate me they FEEL something towards me.
And all I ever want is the truth.

Why wasn't I cast aside months ago?
Just keep me around to exploit my affections?

Look at the crazy red head now!
She thinks he cares!
Mwahahahahaha!
Will you look at that?
She actually sees herself mattering to him!
Why can't she see what's so obviously before her?

Hey. Sugartits.
He doesn't care.
You are not wanted.
Not in any.way.

Wake up and find someone new to believe the best in.
Because once again-
SMACK-
you were dead wrong.

Buh byyyeee.