A Christmas Wish

Christmas stirs an overwhelming desire in me to connect with the people I am estranged from.
Even the people who've hurt me, the ones who no longer wish to talk to me, I have a heart that wants to tell them I'm thinking of them.

And I hope they are happy.

And I hope when they think of me they still smile.
I hope they will show up at my work someday out of the blue just because.
Just to give me a hug.
And to say they missed me too.

I hope that their anger has ceased and turned into a calm understanding.
I hope they realize that while in some ways I am very much a woman, in others I am still merely a girl.

I hope when they look up and notice the stars they remember the ones they saw in my eyes.

I hope they are loved.
And as joyful as I am.

So many wonderful things have happened I wish I could share every detail with them.
And we'd pour out our stories over coffee and eggs and laugh at all our foolishness and our unfortunate misunderstandings.

And marvel over the resilience of love.

And while I embrace the truth that I am crazy and weird and emotional I also bask in the glow that I am beautiful.
And for a moment, they thought that too.

And I am thankful for that.
And I am thankful for them.

Wherever they are, I know they already understand all I've written.
And all we'll never say.