The Damn Fro Yo

I hate anything that's overly popular.

My ego fails accepting falling into the category of being normal so whenever the majority of the population worships something I choose to despise it.

I hate dogs.
I don't want kids.
I have never read nor will I ever read any of the Harry Potter books.  Or the Twilight books.
I despise karaoke.
I refuse to tan.
And I have never nor will I ever get anything plucked, waxed or lasered off.

It's who I am and I stand proud.

Yet I recently fell prey to a current trend.

I am ashamed to admit this but I enjoyed the craze that is self serve frozen yogurt.

First of all, why is it always so popular when a restaurant has you serve yourself?
Couldn't you just stay home for that?
Shouldn't that have the same thrill as going to the grocery store and then cooking your own dinner or devouring your own pint of Ben & Jerry's in the sanctity of your own home?

No.
People absolutely love it.

You get to make it yourself and put whatever you want on it!!

Wow.
Just like I can pour Bailey's on my Cheerios at home.
I'm not impressed.

But feeling somewhere in between satiated and starving I decided ice cream  sounded good on this overly sunny Portland day.

Another thing I'm not mad for: Hot weather.
I'm an Oregonian through and through which means I like it overcast and breezy.
Just cool enough so I can wear my favorite cardigan over my gorgeous dress.

But the ice cream shop was on the opposite side of the mall and sheer laziness prompted me to give in and get some friggin' "Fro Yo" as the wackadoos and obsessive wannabes call it.

Love you bitches! Kisses!!

Second of all, there are way too many flavors to choose from.
Remember the good ol' days of chocolate and vanilla and strawberry?
Of all the flavors this way too damn popular yogurt shop chose to sell, one was lychee.
Lychee?
Are they fucking serious??
Why would I wanna eat something I'm gonna have to google first to find out what it is??!

LYCHEE:

     1.  a Chinese sapindaceous tree, Litchi chinensis, cultivated for its round edible fruits

     2.  the fruit of this tree, which has a whitish juicy edible aril


Edible Aril??

Oh that sounds like something I want to put on my frozen yogurt.


Resisting the urge to turn around and walk out of the shop, I settled on a small mix of strawberry and pineapple.
Then I walked over to the plethora of toppings and shuddered at what I assume were fish eggs but not the chi chi black caviar kind but the oversized orange balls there's no way in hell I'm choking that down kind.
I still have no idea what the hell they were supposed to be and frankly I don't wanna know.

But I did see they had rainbow sprinkles.
Awe.
Nothing cheers my soul and inner five year old princess quite like rainbow sprinkles.
To be dignified I added three blackberries and two strawberries to the mix.
I am a lady after all and not merely a Disney Princess.

I sat in my favorite oversized chair and took a bite.
Sweet creamy deliciousness!! It was a citrusy sweet party in my mouth!
It was light, refreshing and sweet enough to satisfy my sugar addiction.
Since I got to portion myself I'd gotten just enough to feel like Goldilocks eating Baby Bear's porridge.

Son of a bitch, I thought.
I like the damn fro yo.

Maybe I'm not as original as I thought.

Or maybe I am.

And it's merely moments like these that remind me y'all aren't as crazy as you look.