If you look for the bad in people that's all you'll see

I've been having a weird couple weeks.

Mother says when we allow certain things to take place we open the door for more of the same to flood our lives.

I don't quite know the lady like way to say this but it seems I opened the douchefuck door because the assholes have just been streaming by in one long parade.

How the hell was I crowned princess of their float?

Oy to the vey.


You know when one thing happens and you can kind of laugh it off?  And then when the same crummy thing happens again you can even be like, HA!  Well, that's quite the coincidence, isn't it?  But when the pattern seems to continue past the point of patience then your smile gives way to a frown?  And angry eyes.  Annoyed as fuck angry eyes.

I don't like men who are shady.
I have no respect for men who are two faced.
And I also detest that men as a whole stand behind one another whenever one of them does something douche-y.

If guys stand by their bros when they each make bonehead choices why is it women are always the first to shun one another when we fail to choose wisely?

Hmm.
For being self centered, misogynistic, narcissistic assholes they certainly understand the concept of loving thy neighbor better than us sensitive, emotional females.

Then again maybe they understand the concept a little TOO well.


When people start to view you a certain way it's hard to not let that influence the way you view yourself.  You start to believe if so many people see that quality in you it must be true.  I mean, mustn't it?  Can that many people be so very deceived?

Damn right they can.

It's not my fault that other people think wrong things. 
I didn't ask them to.
And despite popular belief, I didn't encourage it.

I had another married man make overtures towards me and one of my guy friends' pat responses was, Well you are very flirtatious.

Uh huh.
Right.

Because I'm sure the Married Man would never ever think such a scandalous thing if it wasn't for My Flirt.  Of course, I am  a modern day Aphrodite. 
So there is that.

I think what would be KEEN is if folks accepted responsibility for their own fucked up ness. 
Like, Yeah, I'm just kinda screwed up and unhappy and dissatisfied with my life right now and then I met you and it seemed like this exciting distraction from having to deal with all the issues in my life I'd rather not think about.  But it really could have been anybody or any thing.  I was just looking for an escape.  Don't mind me.

THAT is much more truthful than that my wiles have such a profound influence on these morons.

I'm beginning to understand why my estranged beautiful friend Stephanie was always such a bitch.
It's the only way to keep men in line.

I'm hot.  And you'll never touch it.  Now run along.

Genius.  It's a shame her bitch had to spill off onto me.

I always liked patterns as a kid.
I like understanding things. 
I like knowing what the meaning is, what people are really saying, what they really need.

But I don't like that no matter how many different shades I color my hair men always think I'll be their vixen on the side.

Just because I'm comfortable in my body, in all I am, doesn't mean you get any part of that.

Despite my doey eyed counterparts my life isn't waiting to start once I finally find The One.

If he does exist, he's certainly gonna know better than to think I live only to fulfill his pathetic fantasies.
Because there is so much more to me than all that.

I'm just sorry there's nothing more to all of you.