Did you hear the one about the curly red headed girl with the big mouth?

My big mouth is going to get punched one of these days.

I lack a filter.
But that's part of my CHARM.
That's what makes me so amusing.
Unless you lack my sense of humor.
Or don't think it's funny when my drunk ass is making fun of you.

My bad.
It's not me.
It's the vodka talking.
Or the champagne.
Depending on what dress I'm wearing.
I really do have to coordinate such things.

 I do love making people laugh.
I think my love for making people smile has got to be in my top five favorite things to do.
Somewhere between getting naked with a sexy guy and shopping for vintage clothing.
I'm a versatile lady.

Really, the blame lies in Facebook.
I am now compelled to constantly update my profile with witty sayings and sometimes I even make my friends laugh so hard they quote me.
To be quoted as a FB status?
Ah, perchance to dream.

So one of my soul sisters took it upon herself to quote my sassy buzzed arse and post it on my wall for all posterity.
And for all cyber stalking hotties to view as well.
Including, possibly, the one I was mocking.

Gulp.
Shame thy name is me.

I hate it when words are taken out of context.
Anything can sound wretched when it lacks the original tone.
Oh. He's charming can mean several different things depending on who you are.

Douchebag?
Oh. He's charming.
My La Fee Verte?
Oh. He's charming.

Same quote.
Two very dissimilar meanings.

But as mother pointed out at least he didn't block you from his life or start gossiping about you to half of Portland....
Alas, something more than one lad has succumbed to in my life.
In the last year or two.
Gee wiz, I sure can pick 'em.

But rather he just casually brought up in conversation that he housed particular interests and he wanted me to be well aware.
To dissuade any preconceived misconceptions I harbored that attacked his intellectualism.

Because, I mean, really, his brain was what I was drawn to in the first place.
The tall, lanky, european sex god housing that brain had absolutely nothing to do with why I longed to rip his clothes off.
I mean, get to know him.
I'm always mixing those two up.

Once this guy told a friend of mine that the reason he liked talking to me, the reason he enjoyed my company was not because he thought I was particularly beautiful but because he thought I was particularly bright.
I've never been so insulted in all my life.

Of course, months later, he DID put the moves on me so something tells me his little speech wasn't entirely truthful in its accuracy.
Dialogues rarely ever are, especially when they're being retold.

Though in some rare instances the simplicity is clear as diamonds.

Hugging you today made me feel even more high and giddy than the dayquill I was on.

Go ahead and quote me.