still sparkles in her eyes

One of my favorite old Starbucks regulars came in yesterday and was so excited to see me.

"Look at you! You look so beautiful. And you have your sparkles on. You haven't changed at all."

Coming from her I knew that was the highest praise.

Once, while at Starbucks, she looked me square in the eye and asked with loving sincerity, "Does anything ever get you down? You always seem so happy and like nothing ever gets to you."

The beautiful thing about the compliment was that I had spent the previous night shedding buckets of tears.  I mean, the kind of crying where you can hardly see and your eyes are cloudy afterwards.
I was hanging on by a thin thread of faith.
But I clung to it for dear life.
And I tried with all my might to muster as much joy as was within me.
And that's what she saw.

And that meant the world.

I wasn't ungenine.
I wasn't feigning happiness.
I wanted to feel all that my smile broadcasted I felt.

And she never had any idea.

And talking with her, over a year later, hearing her say I haven't changed was her seeing my joy once again.

And what a wonderful way to be remembered.