The Reese Zone

I put clean sheets on my bed.
I don't think you understand what an accomplishment this is for me.
I'm a lazy bitch.
And if there is a way to do something that involves less energy I will always take that route.
Why do today what you can put off indefinitely?

I think I'm the antithesis of OCD.
I like things better a little messy and chaotic.
If things are too orderly it makes me afraid to do anything.
I'll just sit there.  Aware of how tidy the room is.

I feel the same way about rooms that are too quiet.
Like the library in college that was so silent I could hear a page turning.
I could never study there.
I'd have to go to a Starbucks and probably get distracted eyeing the latte boy.
It's a wonder I graduated at all.


I've decided I have a gift when it comes to men.
All women bring something to the table: beauty, charm, mystery, an ability to become a baby factory.
I possess the skills to make men utterly confused.
Not just uncertain or doubting or questioning.
But overwhelmingly, stumbling home in a drunken stupor confused.

I've yet to pinpoint what exactly it is about me that leaves men so hazy but I refuse to take it as anything less than a compliment.
Surely only a most profound goddess could move someone to the point of question marks floating above their head.

"I have to prepare myself before seeing you.  I have to get in the Resa zone," Charlie told me.
I'm still not even sure what the hell he meant by that except that he said he didn't have to get into a zone with any other girl.
So I think he meant it as a compliment.
And I guess that's nice.
He even said he wanted us to get together once a month and share our writing.
Of course, this was a couple months ago and I haven't heard from him since.

The Reese cloud of confusion looms once again.

Or maybe he was just too lazy to get in the Resa zone.
It sounded like a lot of work.
Poor bastard.

Why do I always make men confused?
I'll never know.
But surely there will be some who have exclamation points floating over their heads when they look at me.

And those gents won't mind I'm a little unruly.
Maybe they'll even revel in such confusion.
And be craving anything but the ordinary.