My mother reminded me recently that I am someone who is very sensitive, very affected by her surroundings. I suppose it explains why Gifts is my love language (SEE books by Chapman, Gary to educate yourself) because I am so visceral; being around certain places or people stir up memories in a way that overwhelms me more than in others.
Which is partially why I would really love to get this job at Nordstrom.
When I went in for my interview Tuesday I oozed confidence. I made sure to wake up hours before my interview so I'd have plenty of time to read and pray, have some quiet time, have extra time to do my hair and makeup just right. And let me tell you, I. looked. fan-tastic! My hair had curled in perfect ringlets where frizz was nonexistent. My makeup? Flawless. I haven't been that meticulous about my makeup since my last close at my old Starbucks. I wore one of my little black dresses by David Meister, the one that channels my inner Karen Walker.
Yes, I think I own four, possibly five, black dresses by DM. But the man clearly designs his dresses for my body and mine alone. And really, if you saw how flattering they each are, you'd understand why I bought each and every one. On Sale. Of course.
I even managed to get to Nordstrom early and if you know me at all, you know tardiness is one of my less than lovely qualities. I honestly don't know how I've managed to keep my job because the number of times I've been late to work over the years is laughable.
I mean, it's very serious and I know I really need to be on time.
Ahem.
Anyway, I strutted my way to the cosmetics department ready to knock the socks off the department manager. She introduced herself and shook my hand.
You look familiar, she commented.
Yes, I smiled at her, you worked for Lancome when I worked for Lauder.
That'd be six years ago, folks. Ten extra points for me that she remembered me! I was so ridiculously confident as I sat down at the table with her that I could have been sitting across from Meryl Streep for a film audition and I wouldn't have flinched.
This job is mine, my inner voice chanted.
So, tell me, she began the interview, what are your thoughts on team work?
Uhh....
Silence.
I opened my mouth to speak and a frog's croak fell out.
I was certain if my life truly were a movie this was where the camera zoomed in to my face and my inner voice sighed an R rated word.
Speak, Reese! For the love of lipstick, TALK!!
I laughed nervously. I'm sorry, I said.
That's alright, she smiled back. Take your time.
I uttered some unintelligible bologna on how great team work was and shifted uncomfortably in what felt like my now less than amazing little black dress.
Starter slipup, I reassured myself. Not a big deal.
Tell me about what you liked and didn't like when you worked here? she continued the interview.
Ugh.
I am so not a bullshitter.
I am uncomfortably honest.
I make people nervous.
I say shit that makes others shoot me a double take and ask, You didn't really say that to them, did you?!
Yes.
Yes I did.
But this?
Oy golem.
This was not my element.
I gave her another bullshit answer and could feel in my gut this wasn't going the way I wanted it to.
So I decided to make it happen.
Can I just say something? I asked my interviewer. Just to toot my own horn for a minute?
By all means. And she gave me the floor.
So I told her all about how last month I made our two day coffee sale goal in four hours. How my store has always been such a black sheep with sales in our district that when our DM called to check our numbers she had to repeat the number several times because she just couldn't believe we'd sold so much. How my supervisor was so impressed with my mad selling skills she'd asked me to write down tips for my co workers. I called it Resa's Sparkly Tips for Selling Coffee. Everyone calls me sparkles because I'm always wearing glitter! I bragged. And I talked about how important it was to mention promotions to everyone and how even people I thought would say no when I asked them would surprise me and buy the product. I told her that I was in tune with each customer so if my instinctual bubbly personality was going to be off putting to someone I would tone down my style to better suit them. One customer after I told about the promotion turned to my co worker and complained, You didn't tell me about that! And I just realized it's important to tell every customer about what we offer because they want to know!
And when I'd finished pitching myself from just about every angle I could think of in those few minutes I stopped and smiled at her.
I love everything about what you just said, she replied.
And my inner voice sighed a sigh of relief.
'Atta girl. We knew it was in there somewhere.
As the interview progressed she even said, I really hope this works out. I have a good feeling about you. I think you'd be a great fit.
So?
I haven't heard anything yet.
I did talk to the counter manager yesterday and it sounds positive but is still very much in the deciding stages. And the truth is, the way these things happen I could very easily have favor and get hired or I could just as easily not land the job because of something arbitrary.
I know if it's where I'm meant to be, then it will happen.
That's one really keen thing about faith.
You trust that He puts you where He wants you.
And anywhere else I just don't wanna be.
The funny thing is I genuinely like my job right now. I have a great rapport with my co workers. I feel needed and appreciated. I have fun. I make people happy. And I know I'll be fine if I don't get this new opportunity.
But I also know the thought of being somewhere new, somewhere that doesn't have so many memories associated with it, somewhere that isn't covered in windows where I glance expectantly daily wondering who might walk through our store doors, would be really good for me right now.
Do you go by Teresa or Teresa Renee? she'd asked me as we were finishing the interview.
Either one, I'd said.
And I thought how wonderful it would be if I was somewhere where everyone knew me as Teresa Renee, where I could just be Teresa Renee, and Resa could be a memory and an occasional pet name by those closest to me.
It's a little thing.
But everyone called me Resa because he did.
And I'd like everyone to call me my name because it's who I am.
And there's more to me than Resa.
I want a chance to show what all that is.
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