When you want to justify your own agenda cite a book or a friend don't say "God told me" this or that. It makes you sound like a pretentious ASS. And you can't hear from someone you don't know.
Don't move again. Once a year is far too frequent. I'm sure the people around you love having you there. Really. So why disappoint them?
Get over your obnoxious obsession with stevia. Just be a man and drink your damn tea straight. Or have some honey, for crying out loud. Stevia is for wackadoos. Wack-a-doooos.
Stop blaming the fact you're sexually repressed on women. Just come out of the closet. The lighting will be much better on you out there, I PROMISE.
Become a hare krishna. They seem very peaceful. And I bet all that fabric would be very becoming on you.
Join the peace corps. Think of all the world you could see! For all those years. For a long, loooong time...
Join a monastery. Then you will have lots of brothers to confide to the next time you "hear" from God.
Learn a new tactic in addition to your old standby, passive aggressive. Try aggressive aggressive. People wouldn't know what to think. Maybe it would even help with that repression.
Just a suggestion.
Disclaimer: this blog was written for entertainment purposes only and was not meant to be taken literally. Those affiliated with any of the above finding themselves referenced should understand the jest behind the suggested actions.
And if you're wound too tight to not withstand a good ripping then perhaps you should refer back to item four and deal with the real root of your rigidity.
Nuff said.
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