Fire Swings

Veronica and Fiona passed each other on the street.  Hey, Veronica called from her car window and Fiona shouted Hey in return as she pedaled past on her bike in the opposite direction.  They agreed to meet at a pub Veronica had never been to before.  But she preferred it that way.  Veronica liked it when people picked the places to meet especially when they turned out to be places she'd never tried before.  They so often ended up proving to be the greatest nights.

They stepped inside and made their way towards the back of the bar where they cuddled up around a table with a fire pit in the center of it. 
Are those swings? Veronica asked, glancing at the chairs across from where they were sitting. 
Yeah, I've never sat in them before, though.  There's always someone sitting there, Fiona commented.  Oh, we will sit there, Veronica reassured.  Just wait.
They each ordered their drinks, whiskey for Fiona, red wine for Veronica. 
People probably wouldn't take me for a whiskey person, Fiona shared, but I really love it.
People probably wouldn't take me for the Vixen that I am and yet, here we are, Veronica offered up her glass and Fiona clinked hers. 
Cheers, they both smiled.  To being surprisingly unexpected.

Veronica surveyed the room, taking in the faces and the vibes around her.  Witnessing the dancing atoms between the couple on her left she leaned closer to Fiona and whispered, First Date.  Fiona winked in agreement.  Then Veronica's eyes stumbled across a girl she hadn't seen in months. 
Hey, isn't that Mar? Veronica asked Fiona.
Oh yeah, it is, Fiona agreed. 
We can't even go to a bar I've never been to without running into someone we know.  Guess that's the laws of Portland, Veronica sighed and threw back the rest of her wine. 
She's one of those people who every time I think I have her in a box, every time I think I have her figured out she does something to surprise me, Fiona said . You're like that too.
Thanks, Veronica beamed.  That's how I'd like to be, undeniably unbeige. 
Or vanilla, Fiona grinned.  We may not be quite kinky enough to be chocolate but we're definitely a swirl!
And how!  The waitress brought their refreshed drinks over and Veronica began recounting her conversation with Michael.


He told me I was Spider Woman and I don't think he was talking about my spidey sense.  He meant I'm a black widow.  Fiona's eyes grew wider as she continued to sip on her whiskey.
'I just wanna make sure you aren't going to continue using your power this way,' he says to me.  And when I ask him what he means he tells me that I get off on sensitive guys who flounder. 
Veronica, frustrated at the recollection stopped to slurp her wine.
That seems unfair, Fiona offered understandingly.
Isn't it possible that I merely believed what they said and that they wanted to believe what they said, they wanted to believe they were what I saw?  And is it a crime we each believed so strongly in such an illusion?  Veronica set down her glass and locked eyes with Fiona.
Then he proceeds to tell me that sometimes we hear what we want to hear.  And ends the conversation with 'love you so much!'  I could have killed him.

Fiona shook her head and told Veronica she would have been pissed too.  They agreed that it was impossible for anyone else to ever understand what transpired between two people except those two people and how therein was part of the pain.  When they no longer were connected to that one who understood them in a way that called them on their bullshit and challenged them to constantly be real and instead had to fight off the influential biases of those unconnected to the prior relationship, those who wanted to influence how they thought of all that was or even is.  Twas exhausting.  And it always made them miss their old friends all the more.

Hey, swings!  Fiona pointed as a group left another table and the pair got up to steal the swing seats before anyone else could.
I can understand why you want to act out or do something to try and get to him, Fiona continued.  You have no control in this situation and you want to try and feel like you have some control.  Fiona had a way of understanding the things Veronica never articulated and that was what made her love Fiona.
Damn, Veronica said, You're right.  I think it's also that I know he's a bit of a masochist and secretly enjoys being tortured.  So its a win win.  They both smiled.
That kid was like, 'I just hope he doesn't find out I let you have that shirt, he'll be really upset.'  And I thought, are you kidding?!  He will totally love that I have it!  He will probably get off on it, Veronica smirked.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he gave it to him knowing he'd tell me about it and secretly hoping he'd give it to me.  Fiona looked at Veronica with both eyebrows raised this time.
I know that sounds insane but he IS crazy.  We both are.  That's why we were so good together.  Losing herself in recollections Veronica continued babbling away.
Did I tell you about that time he was trying to leave and he pushed me up against the wall, covering me with kisses and couldn't tear himself away?  Such passion!
Fiona shot Veronica a severe look.  Veronica sighed audibly. 
Yeah, I know, I know.  I just miss my sin.  I want my sin back.  Damn. 
Veronica slumped a bit in her swing.
Fiona leaned forward, I know, she said, but having time away from one another can only be a good thing.  If it fades, then you know it wasn't as real as it felt.  And if later down the line you both still feel the way you do and you hear from him, then you'll know.

They swayed back and forth in their swings and Veronica muttered inaudibly under her breath.
But still, you're throwing a party, Veronica said.
Yes and inviting all the guys, Fiona reminded.
Veronica's eyes lit up. Distractions are keen, she mused.  Sometimes the ones you think are flings turn into the romantic love affairs.  My longest relationship was with a guy I thought was a rebound.  I kind of just went out with him to make Jimmy jealous.  Four years later, guess the joke was on me.
Love is a strange little critter, Fiona added.
If we had any sense at all we'd stop falling for the wrong ones, Veronica said.  No more sensitive, emotional, artsy guys.  I can't handle another guy falling in love with me and freaking out about it.
Guess that's why they say we always go for assholes, Fiona smirked.
Because we already know what we're getting?  Or not getting, I should say.  I'll take predictable predictabilities for 500, Alex.  Alex, we know way too many Alex's.  Do you think its unreasonable to say no more dating guys named Alex? Veronica said with bemusement.  We'll add it as an addendum to my 'Signs you know it's over' list.
Fiona shot Veronica a sideways glance.
Veronica cleared her throat, You know it's over when he stops wearing deoderant.
Fiona chimed in, You know its over when making love to him is like sleeping with a 13 year old!  Veronica released a loud laugh and Fiona blushed.  Not that I've ever slept with a 13 year old but you get the picture.
Veronica nodded.  You know it's over when he says, 'I can't meet you for drinks because I'm going home to my WIFE!'
Good one! Fiona laughed.

I'm kind of in love with this bar, Veronica said. There's fire in the middle of the tables and swings to sit on.  And I'm not even drunk.
And its whiskey Wednesdays, Fiona added.
People just get stuck in routines, you know?  Same people, same places, same predictability.  It all turns beige.  Then one morning they wake up and lose their minds over something new or someone different because they just can't take it anymore.  We need stimulation.  We weren't made to become robots you know?   Veronica paused.  Am I a terrible person for secretly hoping it doesn't work out?  I mean, I want him to be happy.  But...
No, Fiona interrupted. You're just still in it right now.  Time will tell, right?
Right, Veronica agreed.  Won't you know it, it's gonna be like 9 months from now, he's gonna call me, the Alaskan's gonna fall back into my life and I'm gonna be dating someone new.  And I won't know what the hell to do!  
I'm telling you, that Fate is one conniving bitch, Fiona said.
 That's what I say! Veronica laughed.
Damn, it's 1:30am.  We should probably head out.

The girls gathered their stuff and made their way outside under the crisp autumn stars.
They hugged each other good night and each headed off in opposite directions once again.
Veronica smiled as she shuffled back to her car.  She wasn't feeling so bad about things anymore. 
Time had a way of changing things.