Insomnia

I had this dream we both worked at a coffee cart, the outdoor kind.  We must have been in some park or something.  And I was praying aloud for some reason and I thanked God for bringing you into my life and you interjected, Except we screwed that one up really bad.  Oops.  Then we both started laughing so hard the lattes stopped getting made.

I also remembered something you'd said to me that I'd forgotten.
You would get bored with me.

Mother has always told me that men tell us how they are, what they're about, their insufficiencies, and we delusional females fail to hear it when these things are said.  Some past ones that jumped to my mind also included,
I just don't think I'm what you're looking for.
I'm afraid I'm not ready for a relationship.

And at two in the morning, having awoken from my dream I decided right then and there I guess I'll take you at your word.

I probably would get bored with you.

Afterall, I have experienced a lot.  I've been through quite a bit in my sheltered NW life.  And I'd need a match that could keep up with me and that's no small feat, let me tell you.  I'm thinking I can be pretty damn exhausting.  Just ask my parents, they could probably vouch for it.

And I really don't think I'm ready yet for such a frighteningly committed stage of life anyway.  I quite like my freedom, however financially limiting my life as a barista may be.  I don't care about money the way I used to anymore.
Hell I was ready to join the Peace Core if that Kid had asked me to go with him.  It certainly wouldn't have been the best lighting for my red lips and sparkles but I didn't care.  I just wanted to be around the idiot I loved.

I'm pretty stupid that way.

Priority: Love.
Backseat: Common sense.

But thankfully God knows better than I and living in a hut in Africa with the Indecisive King wasn't His best for me.


Halle-frickin-lujah.

And I guess you weren't either.

Sucks to be you.

But like the self that walked my dreams I am thankful He brought you into my life.
However big of a moron you turned out to be.
But it's alright.
As the song goes, don't think twice.
He's not through cooking you either.
We're all just simmering in the crockpot.
Some of us just cook a little quicker on high.
I guess that's why I'm too hot to handle.