Not like them

The sun shone without expectation and I slowed my pace as the waves of memories brushed against me.
I thought about my former lost love, how during our initial fasting from one another I wrote every day, in all my raw, vulnerable honesty, uncandidly, for all the High School Cafeteria to see.  Skeptics discouraged these efforts, pleading the vanity of such misguided faith.  Yet I, knowing the heart of the Confused somehow knew in spite of everyone's wisdom, our truth lay in a communication without reciprocity.  All I felt, all I feared and needed and longed for I poured into those little public notes.  And somehow, my heart was reassured knowing he read each and every one and took comfort in reading them just as I took comfort in writing them.  And as days, weeks passed, however time dained to move back then, there came the moment when our faces delighted upon one another once again.  And he told me how much it meant to him, all I had written. 

Reading your writing really helped because I missed you and I love your writing.

Truly, in that moment of perfect honesty I learned that my truths are not everyone else's truths.  Some truths belong to a sparse few and those of us that share in such a rarity delight in our secret rituals.

This is for me and this is for you and I know that you know all each day carries and misses and wishes.

And words are hollow and actions are true.
And I know right now the Shoulds have won over the Wants.

But my words, these words, your words, our words, sing louder than the chapters you're hiding in.

Words, words, words.

Such truth, such deceit, such feigned reformed desire, such delicious uncertainty.
And these songs playing paint smiles on my lips.
And privately, our thoughts dance toward one another, reveling in each truthful lyric.  Such melodies were reserved for these ears, these hands, these blushing cheeks.
And the ticks lead to tocks and we while away each hour and distract with undistracting half truths.  And soon the boxes will give way and the walls will crumble and these eyes will once again see the truth you try to hide, as only you could.