Not good enough

"You're so emotional!"
Yep.
"And you act on every emotion!"
Yep. I'm a doer.
"Someone said, 'she's crazy' and I thought, yeah but that's what I love about her!"

As well you should.


There is an apparent reason why those rejected, those unchosen and tossed aside withdraw into themselves. But it is not merely to be protected from the inflicted certainty of pain from others. 
It is to remind themselves that they are enough.

You know those really annoying women, the ones who pop up out of the woodwork when you're fresh out of a relationship just so they can remind you, You'll find him when you're not looking, dear.

Great, that's great.

I wasn't looking to get dumped either yet that delight found me, choked me, smothered me, sucked the contented air of solitude right out of me and left me feeling without because I'd mistakenly allowed someone into Sparkleland with me.

What's your Cathy comic solution for that, Miss Skinny Vanilla Latte?

I think the reason that kind of disregarding advice makes me shudder is because relationships, love specifically, do not follow some cookie cutter recipe of distinction.  If I leave out this ingredient then the dough won't rise too much and if I don't spend too much time with him then it won't sting when his cowardice overwhelms his passion.

No, it doesn't work like that.  There is no rhyme, no reason, no perfect time, no right season.

Love fails to take into account the unpredictability of human emotion; the fallacy that something that is genuine is also lasting.
Ha!  It is to laugh. 
Things are constantly changing.  People don't know what they want, who they are, what they actually need. Oh, they know what they should want, who they should be, what they should learn to need.
But few possess the daring honesty to set pretense aside and allow themselves to embody their whole truth.
They go the places they feel obliged to go, they do the things they believe will please others, they say the programmed lies that incite anticipated responses from those they are convinced they should surround themselves with.

And somewhere, tucked away in the seemingly safe corners, out of plain view of those looking to devour, exist the uncandidly honest, emotionally raw, pursuers of truth.  And all the errors that coincide with that.

At least those errors are real, at least they are mine.
And I'm tired of waiting for others to catch up to me.
This suits me fine. 

And I am enough.