Do you ever have those times when you wonder, if I'd only made that light instead of caught it when it turned red? Or if I'd chosen the grocery line where the register didn't freeze in the middle of the transaction, how different would this day be?
It's like in Stranger than Fiction or Run Lola Run, this idea of altering events by changing our timing, by changing our course. Most of the time I think we wonder why we were delayed thinking the better outcomes would be the times we made the lights or got through the lines faster or were able to take our usual exits.
I had one of those experiences this evening. I was driving home from work and for some reason, even though traffic should have long cleared, cars were backed up alongside the exit I normally take to head home. So instead I took the next exit and planned on using the back roads to make it to Grandma's. As I was taking the exit I saw the Shell station and remembered my you better fill this up with gas, lady! light was on. Thank you Big G for guiding my path to align with a gas station that literally, physically, was on my way home. And I was in a flurry because I needed to get home to grab gym clothes so I could make it to my
classes.
So I pulled into the gas station and everyone, I mean everyone decided their cars were thirsty at the same time. I wasn't mad. I've learned enough through many fabulous blunders on my part that what is to be shall be and what isn't is for my own good. Whether I agree or not. So I sat there, with an unfathomable patience, something my fatigue and distracting trail mix may have assisted with, and waited my turn. There were only two gas pump jockey's. (Yes, I know no one calls them that anymore but I think if it's good enough for Lauren Bacall, it's good enough for me. And who doesn't want their job sounding more glamorous?) And the gal who was working the lane I was waiting in was running back and forth, from car to car. And looked cold. And I saw one gentleman (let me rephrase, one ass monkey) get out of his car and obviously say something flippant to the gas pump jockey which looked something along the lines of, You ain't movin' fast enough, slacker, I ain't waitin' no more, I'm payin' inside!
And suddenly I had this overwhelming desire to do something for her.
I reached into the side pocket of my door and was grateful I found one. When she came to my window and I gave her my Visa I also gave her a service recovery coupon from Starbucks. (That's fancy talk for free drink coupon). Here, I said, get yourself a free coffee from Starbucks. Thank you for working so hard. And she thanked me and continued bouncing from car to car like she fell out of the game Pong. When she came back to hand me my receipt she thanked me again and you could visibly see how the one simple act of love had brightened her spirits. And as I was pulling out the cars continued pulling in and I assumed it would stay that busy for an annoying length of time but something told me the gas pump jockey would handle herself just fine.
That's why I couldn't take my exit, I thought. Maybe it didn't really matter for me which route I took home. But having the opportunity to bless that stranger may have been something she really needed. Sometimes when someone I don't know says something kind or does something loving it almost fills a greater hole than when a loved one does. And maybe I was able to fill some tiny hole in her heart that moment.
Wouldn't that be swell?
Lest you begin dry heaving with my Hallmark sentiments, let me clarify something. I'm no Mother Teresa. (And yes, right now that is a double entendre. Small people frighten me. Babies especially. Not for Resa's. At least, not anytime soon.) I don't think I'm some magnanimous person just because I gave something to someone else. But my point simply is that I could have sat there in my car in a huff, pissed about missing part of Pilates, annoyed with the tortoise pace of the gas pump jockeys, working myself into a great big tizzy so that when I talked to that gal I was just another rude customer. Her life wouldn't be made any richer, mine would be festering under a cloud of negativity I'd created and it would seem there was no reason I had to miss my exit. Dammit.
But I want to live a life with purpose. One that has meaning and value and changes people. I've had several people in my training classes find me at random times in random places and talk to me like they're my new best friend and they just think I'm the bee's knees. Tonight when the Zumba teacher was late I even jumped on the box at the front of the room and announced to the 40 something strangers that I recently got hired at Clininque if they ever want to visit me and that we have a gift coming up in a couple weeks if they want to presale. One of the gals I know just laughed at me when I hopped down. And the truth is you either love me or you hate me. I think when you have a personality as strong as mine it's really hard to not leave an impression. And what lasting impressions are ever, Oh yeah, I don't know, I mean, whatever. I don't really have an opinion?
I'm sure there is no one that has met me that would say that.
And if they do exist I'd love to meet them.
Because surely they only thought they met me.
Because folks that meet this lady always have an opinion.
No comments:
Post a Comment