The first time I fell in love I was 19. I don't mean first kiss or first crush or even first butterflies. I mean first deep, moving, genuine, changes who you are kind of love.
He was a poet, a musician, a scared little kid buried by the pain of his past. I was ill equipped. And codependency never ends well.
Which is probably why nothing terrifies me more.
I think I wanted to be what he needed. I wanted to make his nightmares go away. I didn't realize I was incapable of giving him any of what he needed. Its taken me over a decade to begin to realize the same goes for all the men I love.
I can't be their goddess.
I will only fall from such great heights.
My last love thought of me in such a way. A Resa way. It was my duty to comply.
When someone expects something of you if you love them you will be what they need you to be.
Right?
I can't be so many people anymore.
I'm too tired to carry such expectations.
And from what I've seen those who may stop loving you?
Always do.
And those who continue loving you when you're no longer there's to hold?
They are mere fantasy, great folklore, the stories of yesteryear.
They are the true princes.
They love you as all you'll never be.
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