Getting hired at Nordstrom was a miracle.
I'm sure a lot of people will never understand this as so many subscribe occurrences with the ever elusive Fate. Or As luck would have it. Or just random happenstance.
But let me tell you.....
Getting this wonderful job ain't no accident.
First of all, I worked for Nordstrom briefly six years ago. Since then? I have interviewed for five different departments at three different locations. No. One. Wanted. Me.
Second of all, not to get into specific figures, and certainly how stellar my rockstar sales will be will have some influence on my rate but regardless, I am making almost double what I was making at my last job. Holy Roley Majoley Boly! This is more than I've ever made. I feel like such a grownup. I could even afford rent if I lived on my own.
Who knew that was possible.
Third of all, I only found out about the job because of Facebook. A Facebook friend posted about looking for new Clinique talent. And this Facebook friend also happens to be the counter manager. And the only reason I know her is because we worked together at Macy's five years ago. And the only reason I worked at Macy's was because I left Nordstrom. And I left Nordstrom because I thought my manager at the time was a raving nutbar. PS That nutbar left Nordstrom three months after I did because she needed to check into nutbar rehab. And I don't know how Fate is so damn clever, but my Macy's manager was somehow a bigger wackadoo than my Nordstrom one. So I didn't stay long there either. Hardy har har har. So damn hillarious.
It's like some foreign film or modern play, isn't it? Like, all that time it was right in front of me but I was too blind to see it so I walked in circles for years instead. Part of me wonders if I will now stay with Nordstrom for the rest of my working years and make a fabulous career of it. As of right now, I have every intention of doing just that. And so, I have to wonder if I was never meant to leave it all those years ago. I did make a rash choice, out of emotion, and I know back then I was a selfish, immature little girl. (I'd like to believe I'm now a predominantly selfless, mostly mature woman, thank you).
But then I thought about ALL of the jobs I've had over the last six years. And ALL of the people I've met because of it. I never would have worked at Linktech. Or The Limited. Or Victoria's Secret. Or Hallmark. Or been a receptionist. I never would have gone back to Starbucks. Again. And again. AND again. And....cough......yet again. And I would have lost all of those wonderful and horrible and fantastic and sometimes heart wrenching but mostly kindred spirits I gained through those years.
And I have to say, I think all the floundering and uncertainty was worth it.
Just to have all that.
And all of them.
I've had a lot of fun.
Even amidst my bone head choices.
And something tells me all I've learned through them is gonna make me an even more kick ass sales girl.
So, after the last couple days, filled with awe and wonder over this new exciting portion of my life, after feeling so thankful and trusting that surely God can toss even the mightiest of mountains in the sea, tonight I remembered how quickly I can become a She of little faith.
The dance studio I've been addicted to is holding auditions for its dance troupe in less than two weeks. And I want to be on that team as much as I wanted the job at Nordstrom. And because my hiring process was so whirlwind and the schedule was already done before I met with the manager, I'm fairly certain I won't be able to attend the audition. I also found out tonight that they are only casting five girls for the team. F-I-V-E. One of the instructors at the studio is the team captain's roommate and a stellar dancer who is auditioning so something tells me one of the spots will go to her. That leaves four. And these auditions are not just for the small world of Diva Den. They have put ads out on the Oregonian. And Facebook. And CRAIGSLIST.
Oy.
And within an hour, just one teensy, tiny, wee little hour, my faith and confidence in believing I'd earn a spot on the team if it was meant to be went right out the window.
I can't believe I'm even saying this but I actually had the thought, Maybe I shouldn't even bother auditioning.
SAY WHAAAAAAAT??!!
Did I or did I not just land my dream job doing something I've wanted to get back into ever since I left, getting paid more than I've ever made in my life to do what I do best, what I do every day? And now, suddenly, because of some asinine details I think that it will be impossible for me to get something else I also want so very much?
I felt ashamed for having such weak faith. But it was also a good reminder that we can't take anything for granted. Not even our convictions or our trust within ourself. We will always have the temptation to feel dissatisfied. We will always want more.
I found the most exquisite handbag during my lunch break and let myself buy it my first day because with my discount and the gift certificate I had it was very inexpensive. And I told myself that would be my one treat. Then I walked over to the shoe department and found pink and white saddle shoes. I have wanted saddle shoes for --I can't tell you how long--and to find them in PINK! felt like it was a small miracle from heaven. Obviously God prompted some shoe maker to handcraft those beauties just. for. me.
And yes, it's a silly example. It's fashion and of course we all always want something new and sparkly. But we can also train ourselves to be satisfied. To trust if it's for us, it will still be there tomorrow. If I'm to be on that team there could be a million girls auditioning and I'd still be one of the four to make it. There could be only ten and if it wasn't in my cards I wouldn't make it.
Why do we think if we can control the stakes we can control the outcome?
WE CAN'T CONTROL ANYTHING!
So my humbling conclusion?
Don't take things for granted.
And remember to appreciate all that you do have.
And trust if there's something you don't have that you should, you will surely get it.
I have.
And I somehow all too quickly forgot.
Writer's Note: This was written yesterday. Today I found a girl to switch with me and don't have to work the day of the audition. I. Get. To. Go. And they said mountains can't move.
No comments:
Post a Comment