I'll have the croissant, please

This morning I went to this amazing boulangerie I discovered that happens to be just down the street from me and Grandma.  I ordered an omlette with spinach, tomato and brie with potatoes and butternut squash, coffee and a croissant.
Would you like toast or a croissant?
Um.  Is she kidding?

I knew this restaurant and I were long lost soul mates because anywhere that offers up a croissant as a side the way most restaurants offer up dry toast is fancy.  And Fancy Nancy learned all her sparkly feather boa wearing ways from Moi.  Moi is french for me.  That's the fancy way of saying myself. C'est magnifique!

It was lovely discovering a little breakfast nook so close to home since all of my other favorite brunch places reside in Southeast.  Sometimes driving 20 minutes for eggs just feels like a lotta work on your day off.  And today I wanted to lay low and stay in awhile.  And I also didn't feel like a side of dirty hippie with my eggs.  I didn't really feel like a side of anyone really.  Except perhaps for a few certain people who want what's best for me which means they probably already understand how much Resa's need their alone time.  Recharging and refueling make Resa's their best.

And I thought about some of the lovely ladies who I now work with.  Who are all dieting.  You know that scene in Mean Girls when they stand around the mirror and go off about their terrible qualities?   My hairline is so weird.  My pores are huge.  My nail beds suck.  It feels kinda like that in the Land o' Lipstick.  And none of these girls obsessing over food is overweight.  Sure, some are curvier than others.  Maybe they need to drink more water and make more time for exercise each week but drinking slim fast shakes?  I don't think so. 
They always make my stomach hurt but they work so I'm gonna keep drinking them and just endure it. 
Why don't you listen to your body? I asked.
She just shook her beautiful blonde hair at me.
I've been really good all week, another girl bragged.  And I sighed that yet another person was convinced about the morality of food.  To eat chocolate is to sin.  To eat carrots honors God.
Oy.

I will never be a diet girl.  Yes, when I was a teen I jumped on that band wagon.  It's a right of passage when you're 15.   I remember in junior high one of my girlfriends convinced me to steal diet pills with her.  I thought we were SO cool.  But I'm pretty sure I was more interested in earning that girls friendship than I was in the boxes promise of losing 10 pounds in 2 weeks.

I love food.  I love to be around people that enjoy food.  I remember when Narcissus and I started dating I thought it was so nice being around a guy that wasn't weird about food.  He was simply, Me hungry.  Mmm.  Food good.  Now sleepy.
 I dated Tarzan, didn't you know?

Why are people so obsessed with getting smaller?  With changing how they look?  With not accepting who they are right now?

You've already lost so much weight! I told a girl at my dance studio.  You look fantastic!  She was complaining about her "problem areas" and how much more weight she needed to lose.
What size are you now? I asked her.
I'm between a 6 and an 8.  But I wanna be a 4.  That's my goal and then I'm gonna stop.
And I just shook my head and smiled.

Honey, if you can't love that size 6 you what makes you think you'll love that size 4 you?
She, too, will still harbor flaws.
I've come to embrace mine.

Isn't it sad?  I mean, don't you wish these beautiful women who look in their mirrors and see round bellies and cellulite and hips that will never get smaller instead loved and worshiped how God made them?  Maybe spent more energy on loving everyone including their own big butts and less time criticizing?

They will never be satisfied if they can't be satisfied today.
They can lose that 10 pounds or 3 dress sizes and still find something else that needs improving.
Sure I'd love to become fit enough to show off my toned lil' body in booty shorts and a barely there bra.  But mostly to get to Prince Charming and Mr. Volcano and every other heart breaker so their hearts would sink and I could enjoy a sly Veronica smile and whisper Eat your heart out, boys.
But they already do that.  Fools know when they've been foolish.  They're not that moronic after all.
And they do miss me.
Which totally makes me happy.
And besides, a new body would be more a way to torture the men I still love.
Not because I don't love me.
I'm gorgeous today!  Thanks for noticing.

I guess I will always be a croissant girl.
And that?  Well, that simply makes me fabulous.
Pass the butter, please.