He who hesitates sleeps in an empty bed

I had lunch with my new boyfriend today.
He is everything a beau should be: handsome, adoring, consistently smiling when his eyes look upon me.
Who doesn't eat that up?
It's much too soon to tell but I am most assuredly, at least in part, in love.

But then again, when am I not in love?

It is the sexiest of addictions, after all.

I find that something so fleeting is so much more prevalent than we realize.
Some think if they can't have that one then all meaning in the world is lost.
But surely with all the options, the deviations, the choices at hand, there can't possibly be only one anything?
If it were so, how do we determine if we've ever found it?
One certainty can just as likely be one accepted delusion.
That one, can, in fact, be a big, fat zero.


We believe what we must for our own survival.
People rarely live or speak in truths.
Certainly not in the truths' entirety.

Sometimes I believe people don't know their own truths.
Sometimes they hide them buried below the surface.
Sometimes they lock them up from even their own eyes.

If we truthfully reflected on everything we carry within us we might never get up from under the covers again.

I had a moment of uncertainty.
Something within me wavered, failing to step in any direction.
God, I hate that feeling.
I want to know what I know, feel what is real, no matter how dumb or wrong it may be.
I refuse to dance with such slow trepidation.
I want to run at frightening speeds.
And those fast enough to keep up with me?
They can feel free to take my hand.

But for tonight, I remembered.
I know how I feel.  I know my desires.  I know what I don't want.
And it's nice to feel the wind on my cheeks as I pick up speed once again.

Tonight is mine.
And tomorrow.
And tomorrows infinitum.