When I was a little girl I remember my Mom asking me if I wanted to wear makeup. When most Moms were barely accepting of their daughters Bonne Belle Lipsmackers, mine was encouraging me to put on more blush.
I didn't learn until after living with my Mom's Mom that this trait runs in our family. I discovered a picture of Grandma pinning back my Mom's hair when she was just a baby so she would wake up with bouncy curls. "I wanted all my children to look the best they could," Grandma told me. And it made me smile. Third in the generation line and in spite of my peers, I subscribe to the same ideal. As Mother and I both so often quote Princess Diana, "One should always leave the house expecting to have their picture taken."
It may sound ridiculous to you, prideful even. But think about it, how many times have you run out of your house, no makeup, donning sweats you grabbed from the floor, sunglasses hiding your face before you've had your coffee and then you run into someone and think, 'OMG! I don't want them seeing me like this!!' My favorite case of this was years ago when I left the UPTA auditions in Tennessee feeling all defeated and rejected (though I was soon to find out I'd actually receive TWO different job offers) and all I wanted to do was throw on some baggy, homely clothes and just hide on the plane ride home. But I thought of Princess Diana and was determined to not dress how I felt (miserable) but dress instead how I wanted to be seen (fabulous!) And wouldn't you know, I met the most attractive man on the airplane who actually came up to me on the plane and said, "Hey sexy." ***message me for THAT story ;) *** I couldn't believe that beautiful man was talking to me, number one, but also that he was so uncandidly flattering? And what if I would have dressed how I FELT!?? Lord have mercy!!
As seemingly unimportant as it seems, the way we present ourselves to the world reflects a great deal in how we view ourselves. You might argue, 'Well, I just don't care.' Well, I think you're a liar. How many times have you been around a woman dressed up, put together, looking like she stepped out of a fashion magazine and you in your 5 minutes of running quickly out the door laziness thought or muttered a snide comment under your breath that stemmed merely from jealousy? "What is she so dressed up for?" "Oh, she looks way over done." "She must not be from around here." But if you 'don't care'--then why do you CARE what she's wearing? I had one customer ask me a few weeks ago, "Are you from Portland? People don't dress up around here. You should live in the big city." I couldn't stop laughing.
I love to dress up. L-O-V-E love! I know it's partly because I'm still six and three quarters, playing dress up and waiting for my Prince Charming to walk in through those Starbucks doors and order his Americano and then confess his undying love for me. But people always have something to say about it. My co-workers continually mock me, "What do you get so dressed up for?" And one customer even sneered, "You look like you're going OUT somewhere or something. *Scoff*!" It took everything in me not to respond with some remark such as just because I was her coffee bitch didn't mean I couldn't look ravishing in my smock, you hateful cow! But I am a lady at all times, thank you.
My Mother had to endure jeers and hateful comments from family memebers and co-workers for years and all because she was wearing a skirt and heels. What kills me is that most women FEEL more desirable and beautiful when they take the time to look polished and feminine but they're convinced that nowadays that's the 'wrong' thing to do. Even wearing anything more than the Contemporary Christian jean ensemble to church can be cause for head turning. And all because we're enlightened feminists? Oh good grief. If it's about our freedom of choice, then why are your panties in a twist when I choose red lipstick over chapstick? Could it be that you secretly wish you could still play dress up too?
The thing I discovered that I find most surprising by the jewels and the carefully drawn eyeliner I don every morning in Coffee Land is the people that are blessed by it. One gentleman, probably in his 60's, told me last week, "I love your jewelry and all your hats. I find it refreshing to see." And I've had ladies tell me they like to come in and see what jewelry I'm wearing. "You're so sparkly! It brightens my day! I'm gonna come in every morning to see you!" I've even been blessed enough to have three different customers give me vintage gifts: a brooch, a pair of rhinestone earrings and a 50's hat! What an unexpected blessing they each were and to think, all because I took the little extra time in the morning to wear the things I love, how I love them and put my face on.
So ok, for my few genuine tom boy friends, you may be exempt from all of this. But most of you are so afraid of looking like you actually made an effort, like you actually care, that you'd rather just blend into the background and pass judgement on the ladies who still love their pearls and mascara. But this is YOUR movie and don't you want to be the leading lady in it?
I LOVE that such a small effort on my part has such a huge effect on the people around me (be it hate or love, at least it's a reaction). My favorite moment was when a woman came in to my store, all scrubby and commented on how put together I looked, then went home, came back and was all dolled up. "You inspired me, " she said. And that, my pretty wallflowers, is what diamond pins and cherry lips are all about.
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