Conviction

I am what you might call an opinionated person. I am also someone who wants to help the people that I love. And sometimes, being the ever confident, nothing can hold me back from telling you how it is gal I am, I find that people don't always see things the way that I do. (Gasp!) And why it's so much easier to see what other people need to do in their own problems than my own is beyond me. You'd think that great insight could easily be self reflective and I could use that wise discernment to clue in to my own shortcomings and false steps, but alas, we can't really see clearly the things we are so involved in: openmindedness is nearly impossible when you have rose colored glasses on (sparkly pink Chanel ones, at that).




I inferred about a dear friend of mine that they needed to learn to set boundaries in their life. It's something that I think the majority of people could stand to do more; learning to say this is what I need, this is what I am comfortable with and commiting to it and communicating it openly and honestly with the people who are affected by the boundary. And when you're trying to encourage someone to step out of themselves and learn to do this it is not short of comical when you realize that they are indeed finally setting a boundary, only the person this boundary is affecting is YOU.



And I thought, now wait a minute, boundaries are great for everyone else but now this is going to affect me??! And suddenly a selfless act of character development has shed light on the fact that what is good for them, might not be so good for me.



And I have to confess, I felt a little miffed about the new boundary. I mean, I was the encourager of the boundaries. I was the one who suggested reading the book, for crying out loud! And now, that it's all finally starting to sink in for them and be applied, I had the immaturity to be bothered by it??



You've got to be kidding me.



Thankfully (To Thine be the glory) it didn't take me long to realize I needed to place my focus elsewhere. And that maybe it's time I stop focusing on what someone is not doing for me and start focusing on all God is doing for me. And I thought how when I needed comfort, my first instinct wasn't to seek The Comforter. And maybe there are reasons we don't always get what we want right when we want it. Maybe God's tired of sharing our heart with someone else and that's why they have to go away for a little while, so we can remember who our true Comforter is.



Another dear friend of mine, someone who shares my overly opinionated, nothing's gonna stop me now attitude has been going through trials of separation and loss. She found herself in a situation where she needed to set new boundaries because her needs were not being met in the situation she was in. And she told me today (a day of great revelation, it seems) that now would be the time for a possible conclusion of her relationship because being alone, being on her own has given her the strength and the resolve to make the important decision, if neccessary. Isn't that telling? Now would be the time because she had already committed to the boundary to separate herself from the situation, had then grown accustomed to being without the comfort of this person and was then strong enough to make a tough choice if that was the choice that needed to be made.



Introverts don't understand this dilemma at all, but for those extraverts like myself, why are we always fighting our time alone?? Another friend of mine just the other night was heading out to drinks with a friend after work, something she probably does on an almost nightly basis and then suddenly stopped and said, "Maybe i will just stay in for the night. It would be nice to just sort of relax and be mellow. But I don't know." Why do we possess this constant need to always be distracted and bombarded with the loudness of all the people in our lives? Is the calming silence we can only hear when we're alone really as bad as we think? I know anyone who has Heard in those quiet hours would confess that it is always the best time spent. Sometimes it just takes a reminder to find it again. And I think somehow that those who mirror us boisterous Clementines must also admit that the times they step out of their quiet solitude and into the loudness are also some of their best times spent. We just have to continue to remind each other every once in awhile. And I guess that's why we do still need each other, even in our solitude.