I seem to be discovering even more obnoxious experiences, seeing as what started out as my novella of dating horror stories is turning into a novel. I just had a flashback.....many moons ago (Teresa Renee: The College Years) I was sitting at the good ol' Park and Clay Starbucks (where the Latte Boy worked *le sigh*) and I was telling someone about one of my most recent awful dating experiences with a kid from my sociology class (Rule #126: Never date anyone from your sociology class......he will never pay for you, never get you to the film on time and make you drive because he rides his bike everywhere). When I'd finished telling my story, this gal sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked, "did that really happen? That's TERRIBLE!" Yes, yes it was. And evidentally it only gets more obscene with time.
I have an okcupid profile, as I've mentioned before. And this kid, who shall hereby be referred to as Narcissus the Second (for the honor of Narcissus has already been given out. Foreigners get priority, unlike in airports). And Narcissus the Second kept writing me and I gave him my number (welcome to another episode of good idea, bad idea) and then he started text stalking me.
Attention Gentlemen: *If a lady gives you her phone number, especially if she met you online, she does not desire you to send her half assed text messages attempting communication because you're too chicken to actually call. If she only wanted to write you, she would give you her email and you could correspond through writing until your days are no longer numbered.* He already seemed a bit arrogant and annoying and I was even less inclined to meet up with him but after some pestering from a roommate almost equal to that of Narcissus the Second, who shall remain nameless (you know who you are, Matty) I decided fine, I'll go. If nothing else, 'twill make for an amusing story.
So I text him, *barf* and said, I can meet up tomorrow and he so "romantically suggests" we grab sandwiches and picnic on the beach or the cliff walk and he'll even bring some wine. Did you just barf a little reading that, because I did typing it. Don't get me wrong, that's a very clever idea. Sweet even. But I don't know this kid and he could be cray cray (that's Rhode Island for crizazy) so I'm thinking some place a bit more public is key. So I respond with, for one, vegan sandwiches are a bit tricky. And that if he's nuts an escape route from the beach may prove to be difficult. So why not just meet up at 180 and take it from there (180 has become my favorite bar here in Newport). He texts me back, "omg, are you one of those crazy girls?" And proceeds to say we meet and do what HE suggested and if I'm not that into it he'll just leave.
Um.....I'm sorry......but you weren't listening. And what I'm hearing is a cocky, controlling guy who wants what he wants when he wants and that clearly doesn't include a woman with a brain or an opinion. (No, I'm not overreacting, it gets better). So I don't respond to that text because at this point, I am REALLY not interested. And so he resends the exact same text (I love it when guys do that. "Maybe she didn't get my text. I'll just send it to her again." No, we got the text. We're just not interested. We're just not that into you.
HA.
So then, after not responding a second time, he CALLS. Keep in mind he has had my number about....2 weeks and never called. Not until I suddenly have disappeared, which I find greatly amusing. I wish I could attach the message to this because it was the most prideful, condescending message (next to those left by Narcissus, the original) and he says that we can just meet up (where he wants, to do what he has suggested ) "and if you feel you don't trust me *scoff* then I'll leave. But I'm sure once you meet me, you'll trust me." Eeeew, gross! If this guy is such hot stuff as he seems to believe then why is he being such an online stalker?
So my response? The best I could muster up. None. Falling off the face of the planet without so much as a "drop dead" seems to be the clearest way to get your message across. At least.....you'd like to think that even Narcissus and his fellow dominions aren't too dense to get that message.....
Ps Sidenote: While I was writing this note, I got another text message from Narcissus the Second: "Let me know tomorrow afternoon about tomorrow, I might have to reschedule." *ha
ha, really? tres convenient, no??* "Not sure what happened where you went earlier....Ha.."
The joke's on you, mon ami.
No comments:
Post a Comment