Take 3

I love movies, especially the classics where the film was black and white and the men wore hats. I love music and the friends who are real with you. I love those nights it gets warm after it rains and it feels like summer is around the corner. I love how whenever I talk to myself in the third person, I always call myself Reese. I've no idea why but it's the name I use when my self induced reprimand needs to be verbalized, as in, "Way to go, Reese." I love the times something unexpected happens. I love when what I expect also happens.




I even kind of love how people like to think they have you all figured out. They like to tell you what is best for you. They like to tell you what you should do, what you shouldn't do and who you shouldn't do it with (or should, as the case may be). Granted outsiders may know best. A lack of involvement, a possibility of greater foresight, the wisdom to see the clearer path, the safe choice. And that's swell. But someone great once said:



Life is what happens to you when you make other plans.



Oh yeah, I also love quotes.



Last year, after living in Portland my entire life and knowing countless fellow actors who went to the auditions every year, I finally signed up for the first time for the PATAs. (For you non theatre geeks, it's an audition for the majority of the theatre companies in Portland all at once; one audition, a lot of exposure). I don't really know why I never signed up before. Maybe the fact that it costs money and most company auditions are free or the fact that I'd never heard any fantastic stories come from it but whatever the reason, I decided 2009 was different and I signed up for the auditions.

(Fact 1: Going out on a limb and trying something different causes a chain reaction and brings about newness in your life.)



Sometimes after these auditions, you may not hear anything for awhile, maybe you won't hear anything at all. Maybe they'll hold onto your resume and call you in a year, maybe you won't book anything. In my case, I got a call. Some director that was shooting some indie film saw me at the audition and wanted me to come and read for a part. Me?? In a movie?? Psssh! Yeah right! I'm a musical theatre gal. I do Shakespeare and Ibsen, I'm not made for the movies. But of course I was psyched, none the less. I had landed an audition. Right away, my leap of faith was already paying off and if nothing else I was seen and sought and that meant something.



I went to the audition and I left feeling great. Sometimes you know when a director loves you, sometimes you have no idea (damn poker face). In this case, I felt like I was just what he'd been looking for and sure enough, I got the call and I booked the gig. So sweet! Super stoked! We shot on one of those days in August when it was SO HOT and people were so concerned I'd burn sitting in that beautiful, red convertible that in between takes they'd have me get out and stand in the shade. "Do we have an umbrella we can get her? Do you need some water, hon?" And every 15 minutes or so the makeup artist would come over and touch up my skin and lipstick. Aahhhh. I could get used to this.

And after my day of shooting, that was a wrap and that was that. And then, waiting.

Waiting and waiting and WAITING. Wondering if they'll even keep my scene in the final cut. See that's the thing with movies, you never quite know how they'll turn out. My scene would be a minute and a half at the longest, that could easily be cut. You've rented those films with the deleted scenes and discovered that the girl who had a cameo in the one scene or two actually had tons more dialogue that was cut when the movie went to print. So I waited to see if after all that if I would even be in the movie.



And while I was waiting, I thought I'd audition for another movie. I mean, why not, right? I'd never auditioned for films before but being in one prompted me to realize I could so I did and guess what? I landed another role! Another small, supporting part in an indie film and I was thrilled. And to think, if I'd never been in the first one, I'd never even considered auditioning for what turned out to be my second.

(Fact 2: One daring act always leads to even greater ones).



And all of that, all those little moments stacked neatly like dominos are swell in and of themselves. But today when I saw the movie trailer and realized my scene is not only in the movie, it's in the trailer I thought about how much time has passed and how much has happened since my short scene was even shot. And how life sometimes seems kind of like a movie. We're not really sure what might happen and sometimes really unexpected things happen and they open doors for even more unexpected things to happen. And how we have to wait a lot. And wait and wait and wait until we almost forgot that we were even waiting, it has been so long. And how while we wait, we hope for the best and trust in things unseen (maybe we'll never see, if our scene gets cut) but believe that our efforts weren't in vain, regardless of the outcome and how the final scene plays. And how maybe in all that time, in all that waiting, other doors continue to open. Our act of newness started a wave that will continue to drop things right at our feet and we won't even be the ones going anywhere.



And it made me smile. And reminded me how much I love the movies, especially the ones with the surprise twists at the end, you know where the audience has it all figured out and then the unexpected happens and everyone's thrown for a loop? Maybe my next film will be like that. Or maybe it already is. Guess we'll just have to wait and see, right? Wait and see how the final cut plays out. And if I had my way, Jimmy Stewart would make a cameo. There's just something about a man in a suit and a tie, it gets me every time. But that's just me. And I'm not the Director, after all. I'm just the star.